You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

                                                 -Jesus (BPV)

One of the best (if not the best) things about working in the hairdressing industry is the amount of times you get a clogged drain.

It happens quite frequently and of course, it needs fixing. I am just the person for the job. Now don’t offend me by bringing out the driano *waves finger *… my tool/weapon of choice is the coat hanger. There’s nothing more satisfying than pulling out a massive hairball from a slimy drain. Well, hopefully that sentence isn’t true… Anyhoo… I’m the sort that likes to take a photo of it, give it a name and keep it as a pet for a few days, whilst others are having a chunder in the corner.

I’d just like to interject here as the sane part of Becky’s brain and point out how mature she has been not to use a blocked toilet analogy. *pat on back*

But ain’t nothing gonna stop from me from going the enema route *in your face sane brain*

Just kidding, Sorry Mum.

Let’s just say, when I refer to a “clogged drain” you know what I mean *wink*

Right, where were we, clogged drains and the bible, yes, a natural segue.

Exodus 20:3   New International Version (NIV)

³ “You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

Ok… seems straight forward?

So, you know how sometimes you think you can hear God (maybe) or you feel he is leading you in some way, but how his voice is so faint you can hardly hear it? You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or like you are in a church service and you think God is speaking to you, but you clench your teeth and grip your fists into balls and mutter under your breath... “not now God”… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or how you worry that if you took your faith seriously and did what the bible says you might go completely nutso so you fill your life up with as many distractions as possible… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or how you fixate on your friends drain and how they really need to sort that shit out… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Because when we put fear, possessions, pride, selfish ambition, freaking pretzels if you like, before God then we clog up our drain. We put these things before him like a slimy hairball. And we worship the hairball. Dude. That’s nasty.

Don’t worry, the spirit interprets your prayers, just ask him “Lord, please un clog my drain”.

But you better be ready for a serious shit storm. Because the evil one wants us to walk around crippled by our enormous pent up constipation. Bloated by our worship of our hairballs. (Rebecca 12 verse: 6,7 BPV)

I clog my drain all the time, filling it up with shit, in a desperate attempt to block out God.

Get your gloves on God, you got some serious work to do.

 

 

 

(BPV = Bec paraphrased version)